A couple weeks ago I received an inquiry from a mama on Instagram asking about Christmas mini sessions. I was out with my kids and responded as soon as I could without having a chance to view her page. When I finally did get to it (cause let’s be honest, I like to know who I am going to potentially photograph) I realized she was someone pretty darn special. That mama was Lindsay Hay. If you don’t know Lindsay and Syman Hay, do yourself a favor and look them up. Reading their story was both heartbreaking and inspiring. Learning about their journey of becoming a family of 7 made me reflect on my time as a registered nurse.

About a month or two after graduating from nursing school I had an interview for an entry level RN position in the NICU. I really wanted to work in labor and delivery, but I was ready to take any position that involved moms and babies. I had applied for the job and received a phone call to come in for an interview, except that the interview was to take place that day, in about an hour. I got the call as I was sunbathing by the pool and had to immediately go inside and change. I was underprepared to say the least. Not only was I not prepared for the interview but I also was not in any way ready to become a NICU nurse. I was somewhat relieved when I did not get the position because I was nervous about the prospect of being hired and what that would entail. Tiny, premature babies and scared families. I was not ready.

I stalked the hospital’s open positions board and eventually a position on the mother/baby unit opened up and I immediately applied. I had a very informal interview and was hired within a few days. I was ecstatic. I would be caring for moms and their newborn babies. I loved my job as a mother/baby nurse. I loved caring for the women and helping them in their journey into motherhood. I also loved caring for the babies and helping them in their transition Earthside. And to be honest, I had a lot of moms who loved me. I was always told how patient and kind I was. I listened to tiny heartbeats; palpated pulses and checked reflexes; took weights and checked blood sugars; I helped women latch their babies to the breast for the very first time; I taught some how to change a diaper or give their baby a bath; I held emesis basins as they puked; I cleaned up their blood as they walked across the room to the bathroom; I emptied their catheter bags and administered medications through their veins to take away their pain. I helped the NICU mamas pump for their fragile little babies and I hand delivered the milk to the NICU nurses. I was always so happy when a c-section mama, only hours after surgery, was able to pump some liquid gold colostrum for her baby/babies that she could not be with physically, but could give her love in the form of her milk. It killed me when a mama was so sick and drowsy she couldn’t get out of bed to go see her brand new baby/babies. I would have wheeled her down in her bed to see her baby/babies but that would mean I was leaving behind my other 4+ patients and sometimes that just was not possible on such a busy unit. I was often stretched thin and overly stressed. I loved my job, but I had to leave. At about 37 weeks pregnant with my second baby I gave my notice that I would not be returning. I didn’t take the decision lightly, but it was a decision I was sure about. That was a year ago. I chose to stay home with my babies and focus on them and my photography business. As much as being an RN gave me life, at this moment in time, my family and photography are giving me purpose. I miss those connections I made with families. It’s hard not to be affected by the miracle of brand new life. I always yearned to be able to document that time for the families as I was caring for them; no matter how raw it all was. Some families keep it to themselves, however their journey may look and some families, like the Hay family, share their story with hundreds of thousands of followers. I find that really incredible.

So as I am reflecting on my own career, I’m thinking about all those nurses who work in the NICU and all the families who live through the NICU experience. They’re all amazing and special people. If you are baby obsessed like me, be sure to follow the Hay family on Instagram @heylindshay ; @syman_says_hay ; @thehayfamofficial and on YouTube The Hay Family

I don’t want to share too many pictures and ruin their Christmas cards but these were some of my favorites. Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far.