Hi friends! This blog post is different from my normal photography related post. Today I am sharing a little of my heart. I hope to start sharing more of my motherhood journey along with my personal interests and connect with others who have chosen a similar path and have similar interests. It truly does take a village to raise children and to support parents so I welcome genuine connection with those who resonate.
For those who do not know, I home educate my three children while working to grow and run this little business of mine. My youngest just turned three and my oldest is about to turn 8. I am committed to this journey of homeschooling but I admit it has been weighing heavily on my mind.
I believe wholeheartedly this is the right path. I can already see the benefits of this lifestyle unfolding in front me however being that it is still so new, I am often overcome with the massive responsibility I have taken on. I am not a trained teacher and do not feel qualified to teach my children. I am also a complete pushover and deeply feeling especially when it comes to my own kids. My daughter often struggles with confidence in her abilities to read or do math. If she is struggling with something and is clearly in emotional distress over it, I won’t push her. I don’t know if this is a faulty trait or one that will serve us during this journey. I believe children are able to learn anything if given ample time and development but I have been wondering if I should be pushing her more. My fear is that I will push her too much and discourage her and thus dampen her love of learning. I continue to dive into readings on homeschooling and education and how children learn and find comfort in other families who have given their children time and space to learn at their own pace. These children end up thriving and not being “behind” rather in some cases “ahead” of their traditional schooled peers because they never lost their love of learning. I have had to really dive into my values as a mother, a person and home educator as well as my “why” behind homeschooling.
I was first introduced to home schooling when I had just graduated from college (my first bachelor’s degree. I have two). I had also just started my photography business. At the time, I was kind of uneasy about photographing people but I somehow stumbled upon a photographer that I resonated with and opened my eyes to a different way of photographing people. The photographer’s name is Joy. Her business at the time was Wildflower Photography but she has since rebranded. She had 4 children when I first started following her story (the youngest named Mabel which is also when I fell in love with the name Mabel). She was doing more of a kind of artistic and staged photography for some of her clients back then but she was also documenting her own children in a more natural manner. I was enamored with the way she documented her children. It was so tender, raw and authentic. She seemed to capture their souls which was so captivating. I also learned that she was homeschooling her children and they traveled quite a bit living out of their airstream trailer while they road tripped. When they did have a home base, they built gardens and raised chickens. This life was so magical looking from afar and I romanticized their life. I knew nothing of their curriculum or anything other than they were all together and seemed to have a deep connection with one another. Of course looking at photos of a family and their life and actually living that life are totally different things but the idea of traveling with an airstream and spending my days with my future children while growing a garden, baby on hip and tending chickens seemed like a dream. Just ask my husband; I have been begging for chickens for well over 10 years and for a whole Summer after college I seriously considered buying myself an airstream and living out of it on my parents’ property.
We even visited an Airstream dealer!
These same dreams continued to follow me on my path to having children and still live with me today. I’ve now seen the not so glamorous side of being home with young children while also trying to run a business but I am committed and living into this dream.
I feel the mounting pressure of getting my daughter to read and do math but she resists and lacks confidence. I have had to take a hard look at why I am doing this all in the first place. There are so, so many reasons but I will share a few. This isn’t a research paper so I won’t be citing anything (I think) but some are backed up by actual studies and only confirm my gut instinct to raise my kids this way. Here it goes:
Play. Study after study shows that the way that children learn best is through play. In schools today play and free time are significantly less than what we, our parents, grandparents and so on received in our schooling. In lieu of play, children are fed more academics, testing, test prep and given copious amounts of homework so that even when they are at home, they are robbed of even more play. I discovered what is referred to as “forest school” when my daughter was 2 going on 3 and was hooked. In Scandinavian countries it is commonplace to send your children to an outdoor based school or forest kindergarten and they are encouraged to play all day! They don’t start formal academics until age 7. I remember when I was in kindergarten, it was a 2 hour day or so and there was very little formal learning. Nowadays in kindergartens in the US they’re formally teaching children to read and do math. Despite what their developmental readiness is. At almost age 8, my daughter shows signs of readiness to read and can identify a lot of words, but her brain is still figuring out how to piece all the words together and read long sentences. She’s moving at her own pace which I am learning to be comfortable with. My children have wonderful imaginations and are incredibly creative so giving them ample time to play and grow in these areas is so important to me. I give them chances to be bored. I choose activities very carefully to avoid being overscheduled and make sure I give them ample time for self-directed, unstructured play so they can be fully themselves and use their imaginations.
Nature. Being in nature is everything to me. Maybe it’s because I grew up at the edge of the woods and find comfort being outdoors or just an innate knowing it’s where we all thrive best. For whatever the reason, I want my children spending as much time as possible in nature. I want them to love it. I want them to learn about the Earth; the plants, the animals, the landscapes, all of it. How what we do affects the whole of the people here on Earth. I believe mother nature is the best teacher. For this reason, my children attend a forest school twice a week along with our family hikes, beach time and yard play. At their school they are outdoors playing in mud, catching frogs, making forsythia syrup, designing paper mache opossums to accompany their research project, whittling sticks, making movies about the Dire Wolf, engaging in meaningful discussions about the state of our planet and so much more. They are learning to take risks (safely), moving their bodies in many different ways, building resilience and adapting to the ever changing environment of the seasons. Appreciating the warm sunny days and making the most of the cold wet days. “There’s no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing" has been an instrumental quote I have done my best to live by for the past nearly 8 years.
Connection. Early on I knew I didn’t want to send my kids away for 7 plus hours a day and be under the care and direction of other adults that I had no control over. I wanted to spend my days living life with my children. They are only little for so long and I want to know that I got to witness all the major milestones. I want to connect deeply with my children and witness their connections with each other. Yes, there are times (what seems like more than not) that they fight and they test my patience and I burn out, but there are just as many times they are playing together or supporting each other in a way I don’t know they would if they were separated from each other most of their days. The way my daughter cares for her little sister is beyond comparison and how my son will do anything to protect both of his sisters is both scary and really heartwarming. We get to experience everything we are learning together. We get to adventure together. As parents, we know our children best. No, we're not trained educators but we know our children’s interests; what makes them tick and we can really tailor their education based on their needs and desires. You can’t find a custom education within the walls of a public school. And the private schools I would send my kids to, are too darn expensive and also don’t hit all of my core values. Like this one.
Flexibility. We set our own schedules. There are days they can sleep in and we don’t have to rush out the door to be anywhere. If we want to take a trip, we can! That was one of the aspects of homeschooling that was most appealing to me; being able to travel. We can go on a field trip anytime we want. We go to museums, on lighthouse tours, the police station, post office and fire stations. We tapped maple trees and learned about the full process of making maple syrup. At the same farm we watched them shear a sheep and turn the wool into yarn. We can dive into any subject we want and learn extensively about whatever they are interested in. No rote memorization here! Subjects are not separated by the hours on the clock. They are all intertwined and weaved together. Our days are magical. They are full of play, exploration and wonder.
Life Skills. I want my children to know how to do basic life skills before we launch them into the World on their own. I want them involved in the daily routines and chores. Yes, I admit I kick them out of the kitchen often, but when I can dedicate the time to allow them in to help, they thrive! They are learning to garden, grow their own food, how to prepare food, to cook, clean, do yard work, sew, fiscal responsibility through running their own business, how to address an envelope, communicate with people of all ages, patience, collaboration and so much more. It’s not easy living with other human beings of differing opinions and desires, but they are learning how to work together and come up with solutions that satisfy everyone. It’s a common misconception that homeschooled children will miss out on socialization but the argument has been made in many of the resources I have explored that homeschooled children actually have more opportunities to socialize. In schools, children are made to sit still and listen and talking during class is discouraged unless given permission. Lunchtime and recess are only minor parts of the day. Children are also separated into same aged groups leaving little opportunity to communicate with people of varying ages and life perspectives. In our daily lives, we engage with people of all ages. Our children are learning how to interact with children younger than them and taking on a leadership role to guide these younger kids. They also engage with children and adults who are older than them, giving them the chance to learn from those ahead of them. There are so many benefits but one that comes to mind is that in the “real world” they are going to work with people of all ages. Learning how to interact with different aged groups is so important for them now and in their future. I also want them to be critical thinkers. This is a trait I think I have lost along the way and am working to gain back. When there is a right and a wrong answer and you’re made to memorize information to be tested on and then free to forget, there isn’t much critical thinking required. I’d like them to be able to find their own answers and solve problems using creativity and imagination.
I can go on with all the reasons I am drawn to home education! And I won’t say that I will never send my children to a traditional school setting but for now this feels right. I have so much to learn right alongside my children.
If you’re currently home educating or interested in home educating and want to chat, send me an email or follow me on instagram @michelleamyphotography
Some other interests of mine I may write about in the future include more specifics on outdoor play in all seasons, benefits of letting kids be barefoot, gardening, sourdough baking, home remedies for common childhood ailments and maybe some more specifics on what we do school wise. We shall see!